My first gay experience
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The best dates happen when you show up as yourself — open, present, and honest.
The fact that I was 17 years old didn’t put me off from watching it.
Years later, I discovered my mother had already suspected I was gay.
Whereas boys my age were going out to drink alcohol and date girls, my Saturday evening treat was the snacks (including a small trifle from Marks & Spencer) and Saturday evening television.
I always visited the same shops to browse or buy something.
Let the conversation ebb and flow.
Love was not unimaginable, though I didn’t yet have the hang of it. Signs Your First Date Is Going Really Well
You don’t need to overanalyze — but if you’re wondering how things are going, look for these signs:
- Genuine laughter and smiling
- Easy, flowing back-and-forth conversation
- You lose track of time because you’re so engaged
- Lingering eye contact or playful touching
- Neither of you seems eager for the date to end
If you’re feeling a connection, it’s okay to say so.
homosexuality at that age.
My hands shook as I took the envelope up to my bedroom. He showed up drunk and talked about his ex nonstop. Great first-date ideas include:
- A quiet coffee shop
- An LGBTQ-friendly bar or lounge
- Public spaces like parks, museums, or local markets
Your surroundings can make or break the date; a relaxed environment naturally helps keep the mood light and open.
Dress to Feel Good, Not to Impress
You don’t need to overdo it, but taking care of your appearance is key.
Since I had fooled around with friends throughout my early adolescence and since I had never been the one to initiate things, I guess I just assumed everyone else had found themselves in similar circumstances when they were young.
When I woke up that Saturday morning, little did I know that something I was hiding from view from others was about to have the key put in the ignition and set me off on a journey that was to become the life I was born with.
It was a Saturday morning like any other Saturday morning.
Particularly those who grow up to identify as straight.
posted by pantheON to Human Relations (47 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
It was a mess — but a good reminder to trust my gut.”
Jules, 40:
“I was super anxious we wouldn’t click, but we laughed nonstop over dinner. rights.
— Andrew Solomon
(For reminiscences by Andy Cohen, Larry Kramer, Rachel Maddow, Rosie O’Donnell, Alison Bechdel, Rufus Wainwright, Carrie Brownstein, and seventeen more prominent gays and lesbians, please visit The New York Times.)
First Gay Date
That first date is always memorable — filled with anticipation, excitement, and sometimes a few jitters.
But contrary to so many narratives of relief at finding a gay context, my initial experience was primarily of anxiety, because to be where the least acceptable aspect of myself was the explicit topic made me feel more naked than the go-go boys. After the Date: What’s Next?
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The Stonewall Inn, Greenwich Village, 1969.
That friendship eventually waned and only a couple of years later I began experimenting again with another buddy of mine, this time pretty much going ‘all the way’. It was Boy Bar on St. Marks Place, and I clung to someone I knew named Debbie who was temporarily lesbian. Follow up within 24 hours — whether the spark was there or not. In fact, I had absolutely no concept of hetero- vs.
Authentic connections are built on honesty. Be real, even if that means admitting a few quirks.
Talking About Your Ex
Bringing up past relationships — especially in detail — is a major red flag. Sex was already easy to find, though it unnerved me.